Influences.

Influences (Friends & Teachers)
When I was younger I always wondered if anyone was influenced by me, and my goal was to leave a legacy behind. Well, I don't want to leave anything behind but I want to leave a mark on everyone I meet, and by doing so, I know that a part of me will continue on-it's an amazing thing to smile to someone who needs it and then a few years later hear about that person doing something kind to another person and mention that they became not to shy because of a simple smile.

I'm currently reading a book by Oscar Wilde called The Picture of Dorian Gray and I love everything about it. It talks about how art is music and how music is expression, and expression is life and how without art and music our lives would be nothing, it also speaks about influences and leaving a part of you behind in the things you do and how those things live on for a long time and how beauty is appreciated by simply existing. How the secret to life is finding beauty in everything. And It got me thinking today-about all the people that have came into and out of my life since i was born. But most of all, it got me thinking about an area in my life from fifth grade to the present date.

In fifth grade, i didn't smile and I hated everyone. Everyone except a few friends-but there was a teacher who told me that I'd be beautiful if I smiled. And all year long she tried to get me to give a genuine smile. I wouldn't do it, I thought I couldn't do it. How could I be beautiful by simply smiling? I give her credit because she taught me something that I can't quite explain to you-her name was Mrs. Charmaine Roxanne Glassco. And I love her so much. She'd seen me since I was little and knew that I was capable of smiling because I did it in church-I passed fifth grade and she told me to stop in and see her every once in a while and to smile-cause it made her day better, more about her in a minute.

In sixth grade-the beginning of it-I didn't want to live. I hated myself and I think it's because bullying all my life. I had a group of friends who pressed me with their problems and seldom did I get a word in edge-wise. My teacher was Mrs. Kimberly Sue Wheeler-and god, I love that lady. My bus ran an alternate route that winter before i moved and she drove me home about 6 times. I learned a lot from this wonderful person whom I still visit occasionally and she brings me home when i visit her...I love her to death. She has a son who has down-syndrome and still she smiles and laughs and loves life-she's worked so hard and she loves kids. She gave me a present for christmas and told me if I ever needed anything I knew where to find her-more on Kim in a minute.

So, I moved to the hill-jack school in the middle of nowhere-and this was a turning point. The teachers I can list off that impacted me here-it's amazing...even a principal that no one liked-so I shall begin. The first day I met a girl-and she knows who she is. I loved laughing with her, watching british movies, eating chocolate chip cookie dough, playing the sims, writing, drinking big red, her teaching me the correct way to belch (which i still haven't mastered...). But she taught me that simple moments are the ones you'll miss in the years to come...more about her in a minute.

Ms. H-god, this lady is remarkable. She's such an amazing person that I can't say enough about-she taught me to never give up no matter how hard it is that if we set our minds to it-we can do anything. LIterature is a perfect expression of our souls-we can do anything as long as we use the correct words...and her favorite phrase was "Carpe diem." Which means, "Seize the day" how amazingly true. Enough about her-

Mamacita-was hilarious. She taught me we never have to really grow up and we should be ourselves above all. Variety is the spice of life...this lady had a rubber chicken above her head for christs sake...and she was a little unorthodox-but we all love her-that's just a random bit right there...i'm absolutely finished with her...

Now, I'm in High School and I met this girl my freshman year who is absolutely AMAZING. a little odd, but i still love her...you can read about her on my main profile...she's taught me so much and keeps teaching me more every day. She's my adopted sister, and her family pretty much claims me too...

Mr. B is my hero. He's the first male teacher I've ever gotten along with and he's so funny-god, I can't say enough about him, but he's influenced me that it's okay to be yourself and no one else can take that away as long as you search for something you love, "the truth is out there" and he calls me Peril...I'm insane-he's crazy. He's awesome, I just can't explain how much this man deserves to be nominated teacher of the year or something...he loves teaching-and he loves inspiring students to be their best no matter what.

I met a person my sophomore year in the Color Guard, and she's one of a kind. Laughs at everything-makes jokes, sings, is a family girl-and is a neat person. She made me not afraid to be myself. She acts like she doesn't care what people think and that's totally awesome. Enough has been said about her and I wish we could talk more and hang out again, but we both have lives and she knows how much she's influenced me and I know how I've influenced her-we've written this out.

Lately, I've been talking to a Mrs. Coats-and I find that this woman is absolutely amazing. She's just a great lady and I talk to her every single day-and she's I just can't explain. She is influencing me so much and making a difference in my life so much-I wish I could begin to describe-but I can't cause it's still in progress, maybe when all is said and done I'll explain it.

Mrs. Storms is new to BNL, and she's a principal. From the moment I met her I knew I would love her to death. And I do. She's such a sweet woman and she's wise and makes me have a good day when she sees me she says "hey sweetie, how're things going?" and I love that. She told me the moment we met she knew she would like me-I don't know how-but more later.
Last but not least, (oh no, train of thought de-railed...) haha...OH! Yeah...Last but not least, Mrs. Jeanne Brown. She was my first orchestra teacher. This woman-god, I love her. She believed that when I asked her if I could play a viola that I would be something great with it. She told me to keep playing and maybe someday I'd see her again-She retired when I was in the 7th grade-but the last time I saw her was at a contest-and she told me that I was something special to her-that I would be the student she remembers most of all-unfortunately, I'm not first chair anymore and I feel like I've let her down and she's not even around here anymore-but it's just that she taught me about music and how it's a passion and it consumes you and becomes your soul-I live by this and everytime I pick up my viola and bow i think of her. And though I want to quit-I can't because it would be quitting my passion.

Now, to explain things-I'm almost 5 months pregnant, and I've got a lot of time to read and think and laugh and write. and I love this time. The book I'm reading is currently in the talking about influences on people.

I visited Mrs. Glassco last time I was at Oolitic, and she told me she missed me and was glad to see me smile. She also seemed flabbergassed that I was a senior-she feels old now. Haha* Poor Roxanne.

I invited Kim to my reception (sorry I didn't get to invite everyone! I kept forgetting to send my invitations, so I verbally invited people-and I'm sorry if I forgot you!) and she told me she'd try to make it. God, when she said if I needed anything she meant it. When I opened the card, she had given Shane and I $100 to start our new life together...how amazing is that woman. I think she kinda adopted me as a daughter-haha*

My friend I met at SMS she thinks of me as a sister-and we've had our disagreements and such but we're trying to work things out-and she's even written about how I've influenced her-it's a two way street. Take things as they come to you-cause life is absolutely a curved road.
My friend I met freshman year-god, she told me she misses performing with me, and I miss performing with her, looking at the front of the line or behind me and smiling and winking before the show-our makeup all prettified...I don't know how exactly I've influenced her, but she told me I have-so I believe her.

Life is full of many influencing people-and they all inspire us to be better people-but we influence people too-and if we all work together we can achieve something that a movie was made into a few years ago, the movie was Pay It Forward which means if you can't return a good deed, pass it on. So, by merely existing in life we make a difference whether or not we realize it-and it's my only wish that when I am old and gray and the people older than me that have influenced me have died away that my influences live on in younger generations and that someone remembers me as a person who was always searching for that beautiful part of life that is beauty. If you get a chance to see the movie I just mentioned and read the book I'm reading, please do, you'll learn a lot about yourself and you'll discover that who you wanna be you already are. And that nothing is a coincidence-because everything is meant to be however it is.
If you've read this-I'm not depressed-I'm quite happy with my life and I love living every day to the fullest. I'm taking nothing for granted and I've found beauty in the simple sunrise, how colors change our perspectives and how simple things shouldn't be taken for granted...because in the words of Mrs. Coats, "The little things in life matter most." and she's absolutely right.

You have to appreciate who you are. There are more people who have influenced me, but I felt that I was writing a novel as it was. Maybe someday after I've lived a bit more, I shall write my autobiography-I'll probably never be famous and no one will read it-but it'll be there for people. After all, a writer is part of the world who shares with future generations the knowledge they have gained in all their characters-they put themselves in their work. LIke artists put themselves in paintings, and good musicians are the music while it lasts.

To you who have read this, I applaud you-you have just read through 50 minutes of writing. And I hope you know that you have probably influenced me too. Share what you know with other people-cause wisdom is passed down through the ages.

Until then, dream, live, laugh, love, smile, share, and keep safe.

And remember the words of Howie Day's song, Collide-"Even the best fall down sometimes."

With all my love,An Enlightened Faith