Reflections on a friend of mine.

Wow. I just found an OLD blog of mine onilne that I had only put one entry into . But the entry was talking about how I gave a christmas present to one of my friends and how she was the one who kept me haning on when I felt my grip slipping. But there was a line toward the very end of the post that was talking about when I wrote her a note and handed it to her on Senior night, I caught her by the arm and had told her that I meant everything I said in the letter. And how she looked at me, and with tears running down her face, gave me a little half smile and responded, "I know, and that's why it hurts so much."

Now, I never quite figured out what she meant by that until just now. Although no one ever wrote me a heartfelt note, book, or whatever else I may have written her-I have come to the realization that sometimes all a person needs to hear is "Thank you, for you have made my life easier-and you've saved me from letting go." I see now why she said what she did in response to it. She had also told me at one point in time that she hadn't ever cried until I wrote her and told her it was okay to cry, and that she's not alone in the world and that I am comfortable just sitting in the silence with her until she feels better.

Is that what we all need in our lives? Someone who we can sit and say nothing to but feel comforted by the mere simple fact that they're there? Is that what we need? Companionship that knows no words? I know it's been a long time since I last hung out with her and actually just sat and talked. True, we've spoken on Myspace and talked on the phone for maybe thirty minutes or so-but it's not the same...

Maybe we just needed each other for a year. Just long enough to know each other to the point of silence and be comforted by the fact that there's another person out there who feels the same way about everything.

I feel like I'm missing something. Maybe that's why it hurts so much. She meant all the words she told me too.

But when I need to hear her voice to feel she's sitting right there-I tune into the radio.